Cheesy, Sleazy, Must-See Movies

Thir13en Ghosts (USA/Canada, 2001) - Color, Director(s): Steve Beck
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 91 min.

Z-rating: 4 out of 5 stars for a good ghost story

Cheese Factor: 2 out of 5 stars for a weak plot for the movie

A rich and obsessed occultist travels the world collecting artifacts and ghosts. He has a psychic (Matthew Lillard) follow him around and help track down specific spirits but his plan is not revealed before he meets his end during one of the nights that they capture one of the more violent spirits. Cut to Tony Shalhoub, who is the nephew of the rich and eccentric occultist, getting a visit from his uncle's lawyer to leave him a huge house. They are shown the enormous house, which is entirely made of glass walls, before the greedy lawyer activates a trap that locks them all in the house. Luckily, Matthew Lillard's character happens to get locked inside as well to explain his past with the uncle and the dark past of the house. Apparently the uncle was collecting 12 specific spirits to power a machine that would open a portal to Hell. The device that he built was actually the house and the spirits are being released from their prisons one after another.

I know this movie gets a lot of crap and I can see why. There aren't many reasons for what's happening on the screen other than the fact that it's happening. I'm not here to praise any qualities that the movie doesn't have, I do think that this is a pretty damn entertaining movie though. Sure, if you over think the movie, you can find a ton of plot holes in the story. The grand scheme of the evil uncle was really stupid but it provided a reason to talk about a variety of ghosts. That's what's interesting about this movie, most of its best writing is focused on what the different types of ghosts are. Once they're all released from their prisons, it's like okay, what now? These bad ass killing machines are on the loose but there's no one to kill in particular. Matthew Lillard does some damn fine acting as a tortured psychic that's haunted by visions of death and evil spirits. There are some genuinely creepy moments, and if not for the damn CGI at the end of the movie, this movie is actually pretty sweet. Alright, so maybe a more solid script would've helped too but I think people would complain less about the script if "the darkness" looked better.

Nudity: Not enough. Shannon Elizabeth of American Pie fame is in this movie, I thought for sure we'd got some T&A. One of the 13 ghosts is a naked girl who cut herself but she's also very dead and gross looking. She's a creepy one.

Gore: Enough. I wouldn't say that there was an overwhelming amount of gore. I wouldn't even say there was a lot of it. There was blood wherever needed and I didn't feel like it was a tame movie by any means.

Awesome: Very entertaining. I wouldn't say this is one of those movies that changed the game but it was definitely lots of fun to watch and pretty easy to follow. I loved how each of the ghosts had distinct personalities, I just wish they went even deeper into the backstory of each ghost. Overall, a very entertaining film.

The Woman in Black (UK/Canada/Sweden, 2012) - Color, Director(s): James Watkins
MPAA Rating: PG-13
[UK: 12A]
Approx. 95 min.

Z-rating: 3 out of 5 stars for a spook film that falls a little flat

Cheese Factor: 2 out of 5 starsfor trying to get me to take Harry Potter seriously

I really wanted to like this film seeing as the only other film in director James Watkins' filmography is Eden Lake, which I really enjoyed and wanted to show my support for his second attempt at sitting in the director's chair. (Not to mention it's a freakin' HAMMER FILM!!!) I also applaud his confidence in working on the other end of the ratings spectrum seeing as he rocked the R-rated Eden Lake, this was a chance to see what he could do in the PG-13 end of the rating system. Unfortunately, he doesn't quite pull it off in my opinion.

One of the problems is this movie is hard as hell to follow. Not that the story is too complicated but that there is so much talking and such long boring scenes that put me to sleep. I first tried to watch this movie after it came out on DVD, I had to try on at least 3 or 4 separate occasions before I finally finished the damn movie. I usually applaud films for taking the time to build a creepy atmosphere but here it just drags on and I lose interest. (I watched Turkish Star Wars on VHS with no subtitles, I think I can safely say that I have a lot of patience when it comes to sitting through movies!)

Anyway, what I caught of it, Harry Potter is in some strange town on a business trip for some paperwork. During his stay, he encounters the local town legend of the spirit of a woman in black. She hung herself after her child drowned and is now a vengeful spirit that haunts the small town, taking the lives of other children for revenge. I think they could've done the woman better seeing as she's what the entire movie is based on. The CGI was a little choppy but she had a VERY annoying scream. I thought the bad CGI ghost women that screamed like banshees were a thing of the past, that's a little clichéd if you ask me.

Nudity: None. Some titties would've helped the beginning not be so damn boring. Although, everyone in the movie was either a little kid or older woman.

Gore: Not much, as you probably would've guessed with a PG-13 movie. There is one scene where a little girl that drinks lye dies in Harry Potter's arms. Should've mixed her up some sorta antidote or potion to save the little girl's life!

Awesome: Maybe not as bad as I'm making it out to be but not as great as everyone hyped it up to be. I wanted to make sure I rented this for Halloween cause I knew people were going to be talking about it this year and wanted to review it. I will admit that when we first catch glimpses of the woman in black, those scenes were pretty creepy. Once we're deeper into the movie and she turns into a banshee, that's when I can't take the movie anymore. How difficult it was to get into this movie in the beginning and how annoying the scenes towards the end were just kinda kills it for me. Even though there are a couple creepy scenes in the middle, that wasn't enough to redeem the entire movie. I do like that Hammer's really coming back up in the horror scene and I'd love to show them a little support. This one just wasn't for me though.

Sorry everyone, I fell behind once again on my reviews and it was hard as hell to catch up. I would like to apologize to all the readers that checked back each day hoping for a new review. By my calculation, I still owe all of you 5 more Supernatural Horror movie reviews and about 5 mixed horror reviews, including today's review. I will do my best to catch up before Halloween. Starting now, I will be publishing a new Supernatural Horror review every hour. I will be posting the mixed reviews by tonight. Happy Haunting to all!!!

Insidious (USA, 2010) - Color, Director(s): James Wan
MPAA Rating: PG-13
[UK: 15]
Approx. 103 min.

Z-rating: 3 out of 5 stars for being a decently creepy PG-13 horror

Cheese Factor: 2 out of 5 stars for the cheesy computer graphics that makes this movie look silly

This movie made a big buzz when it was coming out in theaters, apparently this went head-to-head with Scream 4 back in April 2011. Some horror fans saw it as a battle for the future of horror, if Scream won in the box office that would mean studio execs would see more profit in milking out sequels from the same tired old franchises. Insidious was supposed to be a completely original movie, a fresh idea, and maybe studio execs would invest more into independent films if it out performed Scream in the box offices. I think they both performed about equally well, but the budget for this film ($1,500,000) was significantly lower than Scream 4 ($40,000,000). I hope the studio execs were paying attention!

A family is apparently just moving into a new house, mom's a composer and dad's a teacher. They're slowly unpacking but some things seem to be moving around on their own. After going up to the creepy attic, one of the kids inexplicably falls into a coma. The doctors can't find anything wrong with him, and 3 months later, they send him home from the hospital. Things start getting really strange after that, with mom hearing a strange whispering over the baby monitor that slowly get louder until it turns into shouting and wakes the baby. Other strange things start happening like getting mysterious visitors in the middle of the night but what really sends them into a panic is one day mom finds a handprint on the bedsheets of the boy in the coma one day.

This is where things start to get interesting. The most common question asked about these kinds of movies is why doesn't the family just leave? Move out of the haunted house and go somewhere safe where it's not haunted? This movie actually has the family move out after a night where the spirits materialize and tries to grab mom in bed, that's when they decide that they're going to move. (They should get an award for smartest family in a horror movie!) Unfortunately for them, whatever it is seems to have followed them into the new house. Mom consults a priest but Grandma (on Dad's side) says she has a friend to suggest that might be able to help. They agree and are sent a pair of "investigators" to check out the house first, to verify that it's really haunted. Once it was confirmed, they call in the psychic medium, Elise, who arrives and immediately recognizes Dad from when he was younger. She walks around the house and, once inside of the son's room, she sees a demon that she describes to one of her "investigators" who sketches it out.

Elise then comes out with an explanation for all the strange events that have been taking place. The son is able to astral project in his sleep, so he has wandered too far from his physical body and gotten lost. The weakening link between his spiritual and his physical body is inviting malevolent spirits from another plane of existence to take over his physical body. At first, Dad doesn't believe them and kicks them out of the house but then invites them back after realizing that they're right. The truth is revealed that Dad used to astral project in his sleep as well, that's where the son gets it, and he's only one who can go in and get his son back.

Nudity: None.

Gore: Being a PG-13 movie, there was no gore and not much blood of any kind either. This was more a "chills and scares" than the "blood and guts" type of movie.

Awesome: Very. There was some interesting camerawork employed here, which gave the film a lot of style but the music was what really stole the show. Very creepy music would heighten the tension on certain scenes, felt kinda like Psycho. My biggest complaint were the cheesy effects used to animate the "smiles" on some of the ghosts. I thought the story and music were doing a great job of setting a creepy tone and atmosphere but the cheesy effects took me out of the moment and made me want to laugh at how ridiculous it looked. James Wan is very talented (famous for directing Saw, which was a sleeper hit) that really shows his range and skill as a director by nailing both rated R and PG-13 horror films. Also showing how valuable he is as a filmmaker by pulling such large returns for films made with significantly lower budgets. (This one alone grossed $97,009,150 worldwide)

Sinister (USA, 2012) - Color, Director(s): Scott Derrickson
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 15]
Approx. 110 min.

Z-rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars for an enjoyable story

Cheese Factor: 1 out of 5 stars

There is a lot of talk comparing this movie to Insidious. I'm not sure why but I guess I can see some of the similarities. Either way, I found it to be a very interesting story about a fictional deity that lives in pictures and consumes the soul of children.

A true crime novelist, played by Ethan Hawke (Taking Lives, Training Day), moves into a new town with his family and into the house where a family of four were hung in the backyard. Unbeknownst to his wife and children, he's researching the murders that took place in this house and happens upon a box of Super 8 films that document each of the murders up in the attic. The local law enforcement generally doesn't seem too pleased to have him in town so rather than get the police to help, he watches the films by himself at night and finds clues to link the murders. His son suffers from night terrors and has been known to walk around in the middle of the night. He starts hearing noises in the middle of the night but decides to keep watching the films. One of the deputies in town is actually a fan of his and asks him for an autograph. The deputy also asks to assist him in his research of the murders and helps gather information. Weird things start happening in the middle of the night, like the projector starting up on its own in his office, but he just keeps watching the movies. Slowly he's beginning to crack at the edges and is a nervous wreck because he thinks that the mysterious figure he sees in all the movies is stalking him in his own house.

The weird demon thing wasn't as big a part of the movie as you would think. The presence of this creature can be felt but it really only appears in a couple critical scenes. This one almost plays out like a crime drama with a horror side story. I thought the story was good, but there are so many things that could've been expanded on and other things that could've been shortened. The movie is nearly 2 hours long but you don't get a sense that they used their time wisely. There are characters that I think should've been utilized more, such as the University Professor that was an expert in the occult. I felt like he was the biggest source of information for the viewer but we only see him for short periods of time and he only shows up twice in the film!!

Nudity: None

Gore: A lot of the violence is implied or the main character looks away to avoid seeing the violence from the film. I think the R rating is for language rather than violence.

Awesome: Not bad. I like that the movie had a sense of humor, some of the conversations were so stupid that you couldn't help but laugh. The crime drama aspect of the film was so interesting that I almost want it to just be in a different genre altogether. (Taking Lives was really good!) I was a little disappointed to find out that the deity is completely fictional and made up for the script of this movie. I would've appreciated being able to come home and do my own research on this deity, making it more real for me. That would've been more fun anyway, still, an interesting movie overall. I think if I were to compare it toInsidious though, Insidious was creepier and did a better job of setting the mood. Also like Insidious, this film tries to addresses moving out of the house that's haunted. Well, you'll see how that plays out.

The Entity (USA, 1982) - Color, Director(s): Sidney J. Furie
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 125 min.

Z-rating: 4 out of 5 stars for being effectively disturbing

Cheese Factor: 1 out of 5 stars for the cheesy lightning effects that look dated

The shocking first look at "The Entity"

This movie is supposedly based on real events that took place in the 1970s. There is a really unsettling rape scene in the opening of this movie. I know all rape is unsettling in general but the fact that you can't really see the attacker makes it impossible to gauge the chances of her escape. Also, the pounding score emphasized by her struggling makes the viewer even more uneasy. When I first heard about this movie, I thought that the ghost rape would be laughable at best and expected the movie to be totally cheesy. To my surprise, the scenes were very intense and the tension from the score was unbelievable!!! You can actually see Barbara Hershey's breasts being groped by invisible hands. (Hershey also plays Josh's mom in the movie Insidious)

That's just disturbing...

First, she seeks psychiatric help but, when she starts getting a hard time from her therapist, she employs the help of two paranormal geeks that she meets down at the bookstore who do your typical "Ghost Hunters" act. The psychiatrist thinks that the paranormal geeks are just encouraging her "fantasies" and fights to have her continue treatment with him. Finally, they try to design this elaborate set up in order to trap the ghost in the end. Pretty crazy stuff, I wonder how much of the last part is actually true?

Nudity: There are a few scenes with nudity in it, of course, Hershey's character is getting raped in most of the scenes. Probably even all of them.

Gore: Not much in terms of gore, but there are scenes on intense sexual violence

Awesome: Very, in terms of it being a dark and terrifying movie. Not the type of movie you enjoy for fun but the powerful type of movie that really makes an impact on you. I'm a guy and I never thought I could be scared of getting raped by a ghost at night. Anyway, I like to pretend that this is the prequel for Insidious and that's really why she was so familiar with that psychic Elise.

Idle Hands (USA, 1999) - Color, Director(s): Rodman Flender
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 90 min.

Z-rating: 5 out of 5 stars for laugh out loud horror hilarity!

Cheese Factor: 3 out of 5 stars for stupid fun cheesiness

Time for a fun movie, this is an oldie but goodie. Idle Hands is one of those movies that I can watch over and over again. Part Horror movie that almost feels like a Slasher film at some moments, part stoner film, part teen scream with a young and sexy Jessica Alba, and all Comedy!!!

A lazy stoner kid named Anton (Devon Sawa who later stars in Final Destination) and his two stoner friends like to hang out and get stoned. (He uses a modified inhaler as a pipe!) Anton's parents are murdered and when they finally discover the bodies, all the evidence points to Anton being the killer. As it turns out, his hand is possessed and it proceeds to kill his two best friends too. Anton has a crush on the girl across the street (Alba) and inadvertently gets her involved in all this too. The hand wants a soul to take back to Hell and when Anton foolishly cuts his hand off thinking it'll solve the problem, the hand is free to go on a killing spree and roam about in search of the soul it wants. Meanwhile, a bad ass Druid high priestess (Vivica A. Fox) is hunting down the demon that possessed Anton's hand, she's the only one with the weapon to stop the hand.

This movie is lots of fun and recommended for anyone who has to entertain for people who aren't hardcore horror fans. Also good to play at party or something. Even more fun when you have a bong to pass around while watching this movie...

Nudity: There's one scene with nudity that clearly sticks out in my mind. The rest of the scenes are just them talking about sex or making references to it.

Gore: Not bad in the gore department. More than I expected. Seth Green gets stabbed in the head with a glass bottle and I think you can head the liquid slosh around inside. Definitely more than I expected from a Horror/Comedy

Awesome: Totally! I think this movie is absolutely hilarious and like to watch it every now and then. Stoner humor with a lot of references and things to look at in the background. The Offspring are playing at the dance, there's Rob Zombie's Dragula music video is playing on TV in one scene, and they're watching the original Dawn of the Dead in another.

Cabin in the Woods (USA, 2011) - Color, Director(s): Drew Goddard
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 15]
Approx. 95 min.

Z-rating: 4 out of 5 stars for an absolutely FANTASTIC concept

Cheese Factor: 2 out of 5 stars for all the references and "in-jokes" that horror nerds eat up

A group of teens are away for the weekend in a cabin in the woods. Unbeknownst to them, what seems to be a government agency is orchestrating their deaths for a ritual sacrifice to appease some ancient gods. (Called "The Ancient Ones") Apparently, each country around the world is attempting to organize their own version of the ritual sacrifice but every country seems to have failed except for Japan and America. A wrench is thrown into the works when the kids start catching on to what's happening...

What is there to say about this movie? For one, I had a hard time trying to classify what kind of movie to even consider it. Supernatural? Slasher? Stoner Horror? Whatever subgenre you want to categorize it under, it's definitely worth a look if you haven't seen it yet. If only for the last 15 minutes of the film. It's absolute CHAOS!!!!!!! Maybe even the best 15 minutes in recent horror history. The problem? The rest of the film. Not that the movie was slow or hard to watch, it is just so mildly interesting compared to the better parts of the film. The first 20 minutes or so is absolute rubbish. Things start to get interesting once the cellar door opens and even then, it's just building up towards the last 15 minutes. Once they go downstairs, they choose their own method of death depending on what they pick up and play with. When you see the connection these items have with the method of death later on in the movie, that's where you start to see the references to other films show up.

Place your bets!! What will be killing the kids?

As a horror geek, my biggest complaint is probably the same as everyone else. Why wasn't the last 15 minutes longer?! The movie was only 95 min. I could've watched another 30-60 minutes of monsters on a rampage. Other than that, I definitely think this movie is worth at least a watch if you like horror movies. There are a TON of references and things to notice so it's a satisfying watch for horror movie geeks.

Nudity: Not much in the nudity department for this movie. There is one scene where the blonde girl takes her shirt off and we see her topless. So do the guys in the control room! One scene is better than none!!!

Gore: Lots. Heads decapitated, blood, guts, and people torn apart. Sheer volume, but a lot of it comes from violence that's implied. So while there are a lot of remains, not too much of that violence actually happens onscreen.

Awesome: Pretty freakin awesome. Like I said, the dull parts can get pretty boring especially when compared to the best parts of the movie. However, this movie is more of the package deal. The first time watching it, you'll either love it or hate it. If you're a horror geek though, you'll probably come back to it. On repeated viewing, you catch more of the references and the dull parts become easier to sit through. You have to judge it as a whole and not by its parts. I wouldn't go as far as to call it one of the best horror movies of the year but it was fun and worth at least one watch.

Laid to Rest (USA, 2009) - Color, Director(s): Robert Hall
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 90 min.

Z-rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars for a totally original and gory as hell Slasher

Cheese Factor: 2 out of 5 stars for bad acting and bad dialogue

Laid to Rest is a very original horror movie. I had heard a lot about this movie when it was releasing but was never interested enough to sit through it. Something about it really put me off and I think it's what put most people off this movie. The killer with a chrome mask that calls himself ChromeSkull sounded like it'd be too lame of a concept to actually work. Well if everyone's always complaining about remakes and how Hollywood recycles old movies without coming up with any new ideas, why weren't more people supportive of this movie? The guy dresses like he's in MiB and walks around with a camera attached to his shoulder like a parrot. He looks like some sorta tech pirate walking around with two big ass knives carving up pretty girls. What's not to love?

After an incredibly gory opening credits montage of girls being cut up and open, the movie starts off with some chick waking up to find herself locked in a casket. (Interesting way to start a movie!) She finds her way into the next room and tries to call for help. This is where you first get a sense that there's something wrong with her, like maybe she has brain damage from being locked in the casket for too long. When she peaks out the door, she sees a man wearing a chrome mask in the form of a skull. This is the first time we see our killer.

Now, he's not your average slow moving dumb beast of a killer. Aside from his attire, he drives around in a nice car with vanity plates and carries a chrome briefcase with him that has medical supplies as well as the glue he needs for the mask. YES!!! This killer will stop in mid-kill just to reapply his mask before continuing to kill. I thought that was absolutely hilarious.

The rest of the film just involves the girl trying to survive and everyone around her becoming a victim of this lunatic. The acting in this movie is mediocre and the lines of the girl with head trauma is just downright annoying. I understand that she's supposed to be have brain damage, but the way she talks drove me absolutely insane the first time I watched this movie. Also, why does every computer they use look like it's running Windows 95? The gore effects are what really steal the show. As cheesy as the rest of the movie might seem, the gore is top notch and is pretty brutal to look at. And in any Slasher film, the star should really be none other than the gore effects. I give them kudos for getting that right.

Nudity: The other half of the equation that seems to be missing here. Whenever I think Slashers, I always think piles of dead bodies and boobies. Where are the boobies?

Gore: The gore effects in this movie are FANTASTIC. Absolutely top notch. Like I said before, they absolutely steal the show. I love that he walks around with two big ass knives and just cuts people into pieces. ChromeSkull is such a bad ass.

Awesome: Totally. Definitely one of the better slashers to come out recently. The last movie I saw with effects of this quality was Hatchet (2006), which is one of my all time favorites. This one is likely to be overlooked and I want to make sure I recommend it any slasher fan. In fact, I highly recommend putting it into the queue for Halloween this year.

ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2 (USA, 2011) - Color, Director(s): Robert Hall
MPAA Rating: R
Approx. 93 min.

Z-rating: 4 out of 5 stars for a totally bad ass sequel to a totally bad ass movie

Cheese Factor: 2 out of 5 stars

ChromeSkull ink!

This movie picks up right where the first one leaves off. The survivors from the first movie are just leaving as a team of people move in. Just like MiB, these guys are the clean up crew that came to scoop up the pieces of ChromeSkull and try to put him back together again. These guys talk about protocol like they're part of some large organization. Really strange for a killer to be part of a network. While the original ChromeSkull is out, this other dirtbag from the organization tries to step up and finish off the survivors. This really enrages CS when he gets the news. I'm not sure what this mysterious organization is but Danielle Harris seems to be one of the ladies in charge. They tempt CS out of his hospital bed with a new girl and he's quickly back into action, showing that other douche how it's really done. CS is apparently the man running the show cause he has the power to fire that other dude, causing him to "snap" then shave his head and trying to don the chrome mask. Before he was kicked out of the organization, he commissioned a team to create a giant throwing star-like weapon that has the signature ChromeSkull blades at the end of it. When the two finally meet, it becomes immediately clear... there can be only ONE!!!

Okay, so the story focuses a little more on the girl but nobody really cares. We're all here for the gore and the violence!!! And they deliver all that in spades. I like that they were so ambitious with the storyline. There's a story going on about a girl who's going blind and is trying to survive this nightmare that she's in, there's another about an internal power struggle between two people who want the same position within an organization, and it's still a Slasher film all at the same time.

Nudity: Doesn't show much more than the first but at least there's a shower scene in the first 10 minutes of the movie. Gotta give them credit for trying!

Gore: Tons. There's buckets of this stuff. Definitely the centerpiece of this slasher double feature. While I loved the original Hatchet, I thought the sequel went downhill as far as the special effects. I'm not sure if it was a budget issue or what, but I know I didn't enjoy it nearly as much as the original. This is top notch gore from the beginning of the series to the very end. I am very much a fan of the special effects in this series, provided by Almost Human Inc. (A special effects company owned by the director, Robert Hall)

Awesome: Very. I really enjoyed this series even though it wasn't anything groundbreaking. The special effects are amazing and that's really what you're watching it for. These two movies should be shown in a double feature at any Halloween party. I consider this to be part of the new wave of Slashers, I just wish more people were aware of good ol' ChromeSkull...

Piranha 3DD (USA, 2012) - Color, Director(s): John Gulager
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 83 min.

Z-rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars for purely mindless fun and entertainment

Cheese Factor: 4 out of 5 stars for the B-movie grade cheese

I guess I should've called the review Piranha DD, since I've only seen the 2D version of it on DVD. I was really looking forward to watching it on the big screen but was bummed to find that it wasn't playing at any theaters near me. If you've seen any the Feast movies that I recommended for Halloween 2010, then you should be pretty familiar with the type of humor expected from a John Gulager film. A purely exploitative trashfest featuring memorable lines of dialogue like, "Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina."

The story here is that a new water park is opening up for the summer and it's going to feature "water-certified" strippers. The asshole (played by the actor I hate most, David Koechner) that owns the place is pumping his chlorine treated water out into the lake, which is attracting the piranha who are looking to spawn. Christopher Lloyd is back to explain that the piranha, affected by the chlorinated water, are confusing the water park for their spawning grounds. A marine biologist, played by Danielle Panabaker (Friday the 13th and The Crazies remakes), rushes back to her step-father that runs the water park and tries to warn him of the danger but he refuses to close the park on the opening day. Once the piranha arrive, it's absolute chaos as the water runs red with blood.

Nudity: With a title like "DD" what do you expect? Of course it's going to be a mindlessly entertaining movie that is filled with tons of nudity and sophomoric humor. My biggest complaint is that I didn't see this movie in 3D, my favorite scene from the original was when the two babes were swimming around each other complete nude in the water. Watching that in 3D was so beautiful, I really wish I saw this one in 3D too. Unfortunately, it didn't seem like this one had as much nudity as the first.

Gore: There was plenty of gore in this movie too, unfortunately though, still not as much as the first movie!!! The cheesy humor and B-movie goodness was definitely there, no doubt. There is some gore but not as much, or as well done, as the first movie.

Awesome: Pretty damn awesome. If this were a standalone film, I think it would be rated a lot higher. The problem is that it's overshadowed by it's predecessor. A lot of people actually bashed this movie when it first came out. I think that the movie is a lot of fun and a decent sequel. Ving Rhames is hilarious as always, there are a couple other cameos that are pretty funny too. This is just an all around fun movie that is very entertaining if you just sit back and let it entertain you. Sure, it's no Piranha 3D, but it's still a damn fun movie. (I don't know that anything can match how awesome the original was!)

Orphan (USA, 2009) - Color, Director(s): Jaume Collet-Serra
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 15]
Approx. 123 min.

Z-rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars for a surprisingly bone chilling movie

Cheese Factor: 1 out of 5 stars for trying to make me scared of a little girl... and succeeding.

This girl will DESTROY you...

I have to admit, I hesitated to buy this even though it was on sale at Walmart for only $4. I didn't want to waste my money if the movie turned out to be a dud. Well, let me tell you, this is probably the scariest movie I've seen about a scary little girl since Hard Candy. For some reason, the idea of a highly intelligent, manipulative, and murderous little girl is deeply disturbing to me. When you watch as many of these horror movies as I do, you just get a bit desensitized to them after awhile and they're not terrifyingly scary anymore. You still get a thrill from watching it but you're just less likely to jump at every scare attempt. This movie was just the right formula I guess, because this little girl gave me that chill down my spine and made me feel like I might lose control of my bladder.

You just fucked up...

Isabelle Fuhrman perfectly plays the role of Esther, a mysterious and honestly quite scary little girl with a dark secret. On the outside, she's very sweet and proper but will become murderously violent if you get on her bad side. The way the story builds, you can see that she is highly manipulative and is constantly plotting. She's got a wide array of skills at her disposal such as understanding sign language, having a way of earning trust and sympathy from people, and thinking quickly on her feet. She starts developing an Electra complex, which we later find out she seemingly has a history of, and so begins her rivalry with "Mommy". Esther begins to ruin mother's credibility and soon sets her up to look like an alcoholic with a problem. The ending is fantastic as we find out the truth of Esther's past. I thought she was scary from the beginning but towards the very end, that's the kind of stuff nightmares are made of...

Nudity: None. Perv. There is one scene where the boys are hanging out in the treehouse when one of them busts out a porno mag and they're shown flipping through it.

Gore: Not overly gory but still packs a surprising punch. Very effective use of violence and blood where necessary.

Awesome: VERY. I laugh now when I think back to how I hesitated to buy this at first, thinking it might not be scary. The story is great, Isabelle does an incredible job of playing Esther to the point where it's just terrifying, and I found it to be very scary and original. The coolest thing was Esther's art, with glow-in-the-dark paint. Coolest thing I've ever seen! This is also another Dark Castle film!!! These guys seem pretty popular with me this year.

Wrestlemaniac (USA, 2006) - Color, Director(s): Jesse Baget
MPAA Rating: NR
[UK: 15]
Approx. 75 min.

Z-rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars for failing in the wrestling aspect

Cheese Factor: 5 out of 5 stars for self aware cheese

From the title, you can probably guess that this movie is going to be terrible. And you would be right! Knowing this, I went into the movie with extremely low expectations. The story is that a group of people are in a van driving through Mexico to film a porno. They somehow end up where "El Mascarado" is and they start getting picked off one by one. There's some filler story in there somewhere too but as usual, no one cares. We're here to watch a masked Mexican wrestler kill people with his bare hands and rip their faces off after he defeats them. (Symbolic of removing the mask of a luchador and disgracing him after defeat) I would've LOVED this movie if it featured a character that performed deadly versions of wrestling moves. I think that's what everyone essentially expects from a movie like this but I was disappointed to find only very basic wrestling moves were used in this movie. I think I saw a backbreaker (unoriginal), bearhug, and a splash from the top of a barrel. I think it'd be hard to even find a clothesline or a drop kick.

The concept is pretty simple and easy to follow. The killer is played by Rey Mysterio Sr. (The uncle of Rey Mysterio Jr.) they finally figure out that the way to beat him is to remove HIS mask and then he can't show his face in public again. The problem is they can't overpower him so they have to find a weapon to use against him. This is the part that frustrates me the most, I think the first thing I would've picked up was a steel chair. Instead they go for a 2x4 with huge nails sticking out of one end. (That's not even a wrestling weapon!!) If they wanted the 2x4, they could've wrapped it barbed wire instead. They eventually all die and no one makes it out alive, don't bother seeing this one. You'll just be wasting your time.

Nudity: This was the typical horror formula of boobies and violence. There was a surprisingly lack of nudity for a couple of guys trying to film a porno. Not really a major complaint though because I was looking for the wrestling more than the nudity.

Gore: The gore in the movie was simple, which I liked. I don't know if this movie would've had the budget to go all out in special effects, so I'd rather it be used sparingly than have it be poorly done. The parts when the wrestler rips off the faces is actually pretty gruesome and looks good.

She even touches the chair! What a tease...

Awesome: This movie really had the potential to be so much better. The only complaint that I really have is about the lack of actual wrestling moves in the movie. This definitely incorporated more Slasher elements than they did Pro Wrestling. For example, how they don't show the killer right away to help build suspense like the shark in Jaws. I liked that he had face nailed to his wall, that was pretty bad ass. Other than that, he's just a crazy ass wrestler that started killing people... why hasn't the police or anyone tried to stop him before? There's just a crazed, violent luchador on the loose and everyone just dismisses it as legend? Sure. Why not! If you like ridiculously outrageous movies where you just can't help but laugh when you think about the story, this one's for you.

The Man with the Iron Fists (USA & Hong Kong, 2012) - Color, Director(s): RZA
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 95 min.

Z-rating: 5 out of 5 stars for an outrageously entertaining kung fu flick

Cheese Factor: 3.5 out of 5 stars for all kung fu genre references made throughout the film

This movie wins my vote for the most entertaining movie of the year!!! Sadly, I'm afraid it will be overlooked as certain audiences will not understand the references to other movies within the genre. If you are a fan of old Shaw Brothers films and old school Kung Fu movies in general, I highly suggest you go support this movie!!!

This throwback to the bloody days of Kung Fu movies has a story that is set in a world carefully crafted for over two years, by The RZA and director Eli Roth, down to the finest detail. The RZA is a freed slave who works as a blacksmith in Jungle Village. There are many different clans at war with one another, forcing the blacksmith to create weapons for them to fight each other with. Gold Lion, a reference to a character steeped in Wudang myth, promises a government official that the Lion Clan will oversee the protection of a large shipment of gold passing through Jungle Village. The leader, Gold Lion, is betrayed by Silver (Byron Mann) and Bronze (Cung Le) Lion who are ready to go to war with the other clans and ambush the gold delivery. Rumors of the gold's presence in Jungle Village attract thieves, bandits, assassins, and mysterious characters of all kinds. The lid blows off when the gold finally arrives and everybody goes to war over it.

I absolutely LOVED this movie. Lots of fun and great for Kung Fu genre geeks! When this movie starts, Quentin Tarantino does a quick intro and they play an exclusive trailer for QT's new movie Django Unchained. Already, that got me excited! Then the movie starts off with title screens that look straight out of an old Shaw Brothers movie, with the Chinese calligraphy and all. Any genre fanboy should have a stiffening rod stirring in their pants at this point that could easily be mistaken for a bo staff. All the weapons and costumes of each of the different clans are all elaborately designed. There are interesting new concepts mixed in with genre favorites such as a Brass Body character (played by Dave Bautista) that is reminiscent of the Invincible Body techniques seen in movies like the Five Deadly Venoms and Warriors Two. The movie is scored by RZA himself, featuring tracks with excerpts from old Wu Tang Clan songs. Also, keep an eye out for cameos by old school martial arts movie stars such as Leung Kar-Yan and Gordon Liu as well as modern day celebrities like MC Jin.

Nudity: while there was no graphic nudity shown in the movie, there are a lot of references to sexual acts being performed. In fact, a great deal of the story takes place in a brothel. Still, there are VERY beautiful girls all over this movie and they're all a pleasure to look at.

Gore: There are some gruesome and bloody moments like a guy's eyeball getting punched out of his head. A guy gets his arms ripped part way off by Cung Lee in the first 5 minutes of the movie!!! All these screenshots were taken from movie's official website and do not belong to me. Otherwise, I would've gotten some of the gorier scenes in the pictures. You should really be seeing it for yourself anyway.

Awesome: to the MAX!!! This is the type of fun that I expect to have at the movies. Uncompromising, gory, Kung Fu goodness. Trying to catch all the references was a lot of fun too. The Gold Lion character for example, I'm pretty sure, is a "nod" to the character from the novel The Heaven Sword and the Dragon Saber that inspired movies such as Kung Fu Cult Master, which also featured different clans with their particular styles. A story that heavily involves characters from a sect of the Wudang, which we all know is where the Wu Tang Clan derives their name from. During the final battle sequences, we see a fight between Silver Lion and Gold Lion's son that directly references Bruce Lee's final fight scene in Enter the Dragon. Also, the secret to defeating Brass Body is almost directly lifted from the Warriors Two movie. Not that I'm accusing this movie of stealing anything, this is just a labor of love created by a very obvious fan of the genre for fellow fans of the genre. If you've enjoyed any of the films mentioned in this review or any others in the genre, please go support this movie. Completely original films made with this level of passion are becoming rare and hard to come by nowadays. The action is fast paced, the camerawork is stylized, and it perfectly captures the essence of the old Kung Fu film they're throwing back to. Go support this film so we can have many more like it!!!

For YEARS the man depicted above was practically synonymous with the word "Muthafucka". Nobody in the business dropped the F-bomb better than good old Sam Jackson. And while I'm sure he's FAR from being dethroned, I've found a new contender for best F-bomb laid in a movie: Chow Yun Fat in A Better Tomorrow II (1987)

Okay, so that alone is probably not enough to win him any titles from Sam Jackson... but it sure was funny as hell!!! I love the intensity of the scene building up to that moment where he switches from Cantonese to English just for emphasis. But let's face it, no one will say it better and more often than the man himself, Samuel L. Jackson.

Been meaning to update for awhile, just hard to find the time to finish up posts but I've got a ton of "works in progress" just waiting to be finished up. I decided to do a quick post today about the Evil Dead remake coming up.

I first heard about an Evil Dead remake years ago, the project was still in development hell last time I checked on it. Then around October, while writing all those horror reviews, I came across a Red Band trailer and found that the movie was nearly complete! I'm usually a bit skeptical about remakes and especially if the source material is something so loved as Evil Dead in the Cult movie community, they're going to be fighting an uphill battle with this one. Ignoring the fact that this is a remake, withOUT Bruce Campbell at that, the Red Band trailer actually looked.... pretty fucking bad ass!!! Worth checking out? I definitely think it's worth a peek.

Not bad if you ask me!!! Looks like it'll be pretty bad ass, I'm excited to see it. The movie comes out in theaters April of 2013, you better believe that I'll be there!!! I just wanted to do a quick post on this because I'm such a fan of the original movies and because I woke up to this picture in my Facebook stream this morning

The above artwork is by Rick Melton, who has a website http://www.stunninglysavage.com/

Be sure to check out more of his amazing work!!!

Now that I'm running two blogs, it takes me longer to write more in-depth posts. Part of that is because I'll start researching for the post, find something else that interests me, then end up going off on a tangent and wasting many hours just surfing from one link to the next. So rather than take weeks to finish up one post and have the blog sit idle, I'll try to fill it with daily short posts with small updates of info I've come across but haven't had time to compile into a bigger post.

First small update comes from the guys over at Horror-Movies.ca confirming there will be absolutely NO use of CGI in the upcoming Evil Dead remake that's slated for a release in April. I'm not usually one to get all worked up over a remake but (since the release of the full red band trailer) I know what I like when I see it. Much like Piranha 3D, I knew I wanted to see it the moment I saw the trailer. Check out the red band trailer for yourself:

I'm already sold purely based on the fact that they're using all practical effects for this movie. I don't mind an updated version of a classic for new audience, it just has to be a sincere attempt to recapture the magic of the original with a new spin on it. The remakes pumped out by big studios simply to cash in on a franchise's popularity is fucking garbage. I'm already excited for this one as it seems like it's being handled well.

I saw Django Unchained awhile back, probably not going to review it, but I would highly recommend it for anyone who likes Quentin Tarantino, Westerns of any kind, and anyone who's just looking for a good time. Most of the action is at the end but the movie is filled with QT's signature interesting dialogue and storytelling. I would probably say that Django Unchained and The Man with the Iron Fists were my favorite movies at the theaters this year. If I ran a movie theater, I would show both of these movies in a double feature for about a week after it's pulled from other theaters. This would give anyone who missed its first run a chance to catch it still, plus I think this double bill would be totally fuckin awesome together.

I'm working on a longer post and some reviews for this blog, but lately I've been on the Retrospective Geek blog because I've been on a Tokusatsu hype lately. Remember to check in on this blog and the other one cause I'll be posting to whichever I finish first!!! While I work on the longer posts, I'll try my best to fill both blog with shorter daily updates so there's always something fresh (or rotten) to see when you come visit.

Yeah, it's very apparent that daily updates aren't going to happen but I'll try to do every other day or at least weekly updates if I can. I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to do that since I'm leaving my day job. Might be unemployed for a bit, so I'm sure the amount of updates will increase!

Another reason I haven't been able to update is that I don't have much to say at the moment. Other than the Evil Dead remake, which I've written two different posts about, there haven't been many horror movies or violent movies that I'm really looking forward to seeing.

I did see Django Unchained in theaters, and like most others, really enjoyed the film. I didn't feel the need to write my own review and use the controversy surrounding the film to fuel my own popularity on this blog. I saw it, I really enjoyed it, and I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys quality entertainment. If you're one of those people who feel the need to join a group of activists because of how this movie exploits black people and slavery, then you need to fuck off because you're missing the point entirely. I don't feel the need to "defend" this movie as it is simply that. A movie. I didn't come out of the movie calling every black person I saw a "nigger" nor did I feel the need to whip any of them as they walked by. I didn't feel like I wanted to call them "boy" or lord over them in any way. Those of you who get SO worked up over a movie just have nothing better to do in their lives. Go get laid and take a chillaxative, you motherfuckers are entirely too anal retentive.

Another thing that's been keeping me busy is the fact that I've on this Tokusatsu and Pro Wrestling hype lately. I picked up two Kamen Rider DVDs lately and a crapload of wrestling DVDs highlighting the careers of greats such as Eddie Guerrero, Mr. Perfect (Curt Hennig), Road Warriors Hawk & Animal, plus many more!!! Used to be, everything I was watching or researching would go up on this blog but I'm trying to sort my interests so I can keep my blog s separate. Like I've explained before, anything horror related or is geared more towards Adults will be posted here. Otherwise, more lighthearted subjects such as video games and comic books will go onto The Retrospective Geek blog.

I saw Mama recently and wasn't impressed. I love that fact that Guillermo Del Toro is out there supporting independent filmmakers but just from the audience's perspective, I felt that the movie was definitely lacking. I have to admit, I wasn't exactly excited for this movie after watching the trailer (mostly because I didn't get it, was Mama a ghost or a monster?) but gave it a chance to impress me when I was at the theater. One of my biggest gripes about Mama (who turns out to be a ghost) is that there isn't enough backstory on her. Sure, they give you just enough to keep the story moving forward but you never really care about Mama and what she went through. The movie focuses more on the two little girls and their relationship with a surrogate mother in the form of their uncle's girlfriend. She wasn't prepared to have any children but stuck by her love and did her best to protect these children. I was more interested in their story and would rather have seen a movie about them instead. What we get is a Mama character who seems haphazardly thrown into the story. There's no reason Mama should be as powerful as she is. A spirit is stronger if a person goes through great emotional trauma before death. Even though Mama's shown going through this trauma, we're never invested in her enough to care. That is where the biggest problem lies in this movie. They had a fantastic cast, the kids were great, but the character Mama is never really developed. I feel like a good horror movie should have a good villain. That's where this film misses and is the biggest reason I think this one can be skipped until the DVD's release.

Another movie that I saw recently was A Haunted House. I got excited for this movie the moment I saw the trailer because I thought this was going to be another Scary Movie. The only funny Scary Movies to me were the first two, and those were the only ones that the Wayans brothers were in. When I saw that Marlon Wayans was involved in this movie, I decided that I had to go see this one for myself. I enjoy the movie but I definitely think that Scary Movie was funnier. There were a lot of "gay" jokes and the humor is pretty sophomorish but that was part of the fun! I saw a lot of the movies they were parodying and I got most of the references, I just feel like this is going to do better after its release on home video. Cedric the Entertainer is absolutely fuckin HILARIOUS in this movie and I think he had the best lines. The movie was very enjoyable but I get the feeling that it will be more fun if you could rent it and make jokes with your friends while watching it. Overall, a fun movie with a couple good laughs. I liked it but I definitely believe it will do better after its DVD or Blu-ray release. (This is NOT the type of film you need on Blu-ray)

Paranormal Activity 4 (USA, 2012) - Color, Director(s): Henry Joost& Ariel Schulman
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 15]
Approx. 88 min.

Z-rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Cheese Factor: 2 out of 5 stars

This movie was pretty creepy. Now, when I say creepy, I don't mean that the movie was scary. I mean that I felt creepy watching it. I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm a guy, watching a 16 year old girl through what feels like a webcam while she sleeps. There's plenty of shots from the ground where you're just staring at her feet (for you foot fetishists out there!) and there's even a scene where she's in a towel like she just got out of the shower. How are you NOT supposed to feel like a peeping tom when you watch this movie?! I already reviewed the other Paranormal Activity movies for Halloween last year and I have to say that I really enjoyed watching them back-to-back. In fact, I dedicated the first week of October to found footage films and I might've played out the genre a little bit. This movie follows the exact same formula that the other films had without really bringing anything new to the table.

This is mom, but still such a pervy voyeur shot!!!

The plot of this movie follows the events that take place after Paranormal Activity 2, where Katie comes and abducts the baby at the very end of the movie then walks out the front door. Fast forward a couple years and they're moving in next door to a new family. The family consists of two estranged parents on the verge of a divorce, a hottie blonde daughter, and a young son. The hottie teenage daughter is played by Kathryn Newton, who looks like she'd be one of the popular girls in high school. Katie also claims to not be feeling well and asks the family to watch her "son" since the two boys get along so well. The daughter chats with her boyfriend through webcams and because he "accidentally" recorded her sleeping all night, they start to notice weird things happening around the house since the new neighbors moved in.

The only "scary" scene I could find

The rest of it plays out pretty much like the usual Paranormal Activity formula, the demon starts by knocking small things over like books and stuff. Then slowly graduates to bigger and stranger occurrences until it's too late to do anything about it. I think that a fourth movie of the EXACT same formula is a little dull. They could've tried to surprise us with something new, seeing as one of the tagline for this movie was "All the Activity has led up to this". I was expecting something epic to happen in this one. This movie plays out kinda like both 2nd and 3rd story put together. The only thing that was somewhat new was how the movie centered around the teenage daughter mostly. She's the one that notices the strange events taking place and she's the one that has her boyfriend set up the cameras in the house to record everything. Also, a lot of this movie seems to be about watching her. If I didn't know any better, this was the start of Paranormal Activity porn parody. "There's a demon in my house, quick, record me sleeping in my underwear!" (Fuck me, right?) I mean, look at these posters!!!

Someone should change the title to "Brazzers"

Nudity: None, that would've turned this whole movie into a porno. Not to mention the fact that the main girl is underage and it would've been highly illegal, the whole movie already felt like some sort of strange voyeur cam porno.

He's probably considering coping a feel...

Gore: Sadly, none. Some gore probably would've helped this franchise seeing as they really needed to do something to break away from the same tired old formula. I'm not completely against movies that follow a formula, I was a big fan of the Friday the 13th movies where teenagers will get naked and have sex before getting murdered in brutal fashion. That's all in fun, so it's okay if the plot is a little mindless. This franchise can't just keep following the exact same formula every movie because it's a found footage film. Found footage films always have to start off with at least a half hour of watching someone's "home movies" before anything really happens. Well, seeing as this is the fourth film in this series, we already know what's going to happen. So show it to us already!!!

At least they tied in the story somewhere in the middle of this

Awesome: Pretty awesome, but not very. Was nice to have a pretty young lady to look at for a change (no offense to Molly Ephraim who plays Ali in Paranormal 2) but the plot is really getting played out. No matter how you cut it, they should've done more with this one to really surprise the audience. That's not to say this was a bad movie, you'd probably enjoy this one if you enjoyed the other ones. Sometimes, people are looking for the same formula in a movie because it feels familiar and is the whole reason they fell in love with the series to begin with. I can only speak for myself when I say that I wish they did more with this fourth one because that would've escalated the franchise as a whole. First one introduces the franchise, second one escalates it with a bigger family, third one goes back and explains the origins, and the fourth one comes back to present day and really pushes the envelope. Due to the fact that they didn't take a chances and totally played it safe with this film, I doubt there would be as much buzz for the Paranormal Activity 5. Oh, you know they're going to make number 5. I gave this movie a higher score because I did like the other movies and I didn't want people to think I hated this movie. Overall, I liked it about as much as I liked the others, but I think this franchise is past it's peak and it'll be all downhill from here. What I didn't get was the night that the boy went into her room and she floated into the air, did she just forget to watch the video the next day? Seems like she was completely unaware that it happened. Also, it doesn't help that the Paranormal Activity trailers tend to lie and have scenes that aren't in the movie.

Dead Sushi (Japan, 2012) - Color, Director(s): Noboru Iguchi
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Approx. 92 min.

Z-rating: 4 out of 5 stars for zany Japanese craziness

Cheese Factor: 5 out of 5 stars for one of the most bizarre plots I've heard in awhile

"Dafuq did I just watch?!?" is the only question going through my mind at the moment as I reflect on this movie that I had been DYING to see. Noboru Iguchi, director of other Japanese movie madness such as Machine Girl and Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead, is at it again with this movie about an outbreak of killer sushi. Be warned, this type of movie is NOT for everyone. I'm sure a lot of people won't get it and will just write it off as a bad movie.

I am not trying to call this a good movie by any means, I just don't think it's a particularly bad one. This movie is purposely cheesy (and sleazy!) with a ridiculous plot about killer sushi that spreads its infection much like a zombie virus. The ridiculous part? This sushi can fly for some reason... whatever. If you're willing to ignore common sense and just accept that killer sushi can fly, this movie is actually a lot of fun. Really stupid fun, but fun nonetheless. Their creator is a vengeful research scientist that was wrongly jailed for a crime he did not commit. The story really revolves around a cute daughter of a sushi chef who happens to working the night that killer sushi attacks the restaurant. In addition to knowing all about sushi, she also seems to be well-versed in martial arts. To make a long story short, the vengeful research scientist unleashes the killer sushi on a night where the girl happens to be working as a waitress before injecting himself and turning into a giant killer fish. Yes, it's one of those types of movies.

Nudity: There's only one scene with nudity that I can remember. The boss of the company is running from the killer fish and hides in a women's shower. A girl comes in and proceeds to bathe while completely oblivious to his presence. Another great scene that I can remember is where a piece of killer sushi was in the process of eating a chick's tongue out of her mouth, a guy is just standing there deciding whether or not he should cop a feel since she's probably going to be dead soon. I'm sure every guy has pondered this scenario at least once in their lifetime.

Gore: A lot of it was CGI gore, which means most of it is poorly done. The scenes that did have practical effects were alright. Not particularly convincing, but you don't watch these kinds of movies for their special effects anyway! I was a little surprised to find that this movie wasn't overly gory. Considering the director and the potential for over-the-top gore with a story about killer sushi, I was surprised the gore factor is so low in this one!

Awesome: Definitely!!! But only if you're into this type of movie. As I said before, this movie will probably be lost on most people and probably be written off as "too weird" or "bad", which really sucks because this movie is a lot of fun. People who enjoy this type of bizarro film will no doubt find it funny. My biggest complaint was that I wasn't prepared for how much CGI was actually going to be in this movie. I feel like the bad CGI will be the biggest reason for people to write this film off as a bad movie. Sure, it's low-budget garbage, but it's still fun!!! I mean, the girl busts out sushi nunchaku at the end of the movie, were you expecting a great drama? For a silly movie, the choreography was decent and really stylishly filmed. (Better than ANY fight scenes from Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy)

The zombie sub-plot kinda reminds me of Stacy: Attack of the Schoolgirl Zombies but the whole movie kinda reminded me of Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl overall. I would recommend this movie if you're a fan of movies like Sukeban Boy, RoboGeisha, or Tokyo Gore Police. Definitely made me hungry for some sushi afterwards!!!

Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

The Woman in Black (2012)

Apologies

Insidious (2010)

Sinister (2012)

The Entity (1982)

Idle Hands (1999)

Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Laid to Rest (2009)

ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2 (2011)

Piranha 3DD (2012)

Orphan (2009)

Wrestlemaniac (2006)

The Man with the Iron Fists (2012)

Who says "FUCK" better?

Evil Dead Remake

Another Evil Dead Update!

Misc Updates and Short Reviews

Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)

Dead Sushi (2012)