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Wrong Turn (series)
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Halloween 2014
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| by Patrick Ballesteros |
Typically around this time of year, I recommend movies that readers can rent in place of the movies people usually rent for Halloween. Although recently I was looking through my blog and noticed a serious lack of reviews for some of the most popular horror movies. So this year, I thought I'd devote my reviews to some of the bigger franchises in the horror genre. I was thinking about starting off with Child's Play in honor of Annabelle, the spinoff of The Conjuring, that's coming out the first week of October. Then onto one of my all-time favorite slashers, the Friday the 13th movies. I'll follow that up with the Nightmare on Elm Street series and finish off October with a mixed bag of horror movies. I know that doesn't even begin to cover all of them but it's just a place to start. I'll get to the rest of them eventually, so stick around!
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Child's Play (1988)
Child's Play (USA, 1988) - Color, Director(s): Tom Holland
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 15]
Approx. 87 min.
Z-rating: 3 stars out of 5
Cheese Factor: 2.5 stars out of 5
The movie starts off with the vampire from Fright Night (Chris Sarandon) chasing down Charles Lee Ray (played by Brad Dourif), who we later find out is "The Lakeshore Strangler". Chucky is shot during the chase and left for dead by his partner (it's so weird hearing Chucky's iconic voice coming from an actual person and not a doll). The chase leads to a toy store where he takes another bullet and, knowing that he's on the verge of dying, transfers his soul into one of the Good Guys dolls. Because he's a serial killer who, as luck would have it, also happens to dabble in Voodoo, presumably when he's not strangling his victims. A lightning bolt crashes through the roof and the whole freakin' toy store explodes. We're not even 6 minutes into this movie yet!
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| "He transferred his soul into that doll SO hard!" |
Cut to the apartment of a single mother and her son, Andy Barclay, who wants nothing more than a Good Guys doll for his birthday. Mommy didn't know about the doll early enough to save up for it but fortunately for her, a peddler in the back alley behind the department store where she works just happens to be slanging one. Because back alley transactions always turn out for the best, she snatches up the doll and surprises young Andy with it after work.
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| "Nevermind where I got it or why it smells like urine, Happy Birthday!" |
Of course we now know that Chucky is a killer doll with the soul of a Voodoo psychopath trapped in it but if you were watching this movie for the first time, without any prior knowledge of the franchise, there's a moment in the film where Andy's having entire conversations with the doll but Chucky doesn't respond. They could've played it up as Andy's imagination or maybe he's got a split-personality that he's projecting onto the doll. The big reveal comes when Andy's mom finds the batteries included in the box then realizes the doll's been moving and talking without them.
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| "You can hide your weed in there!" |
By this point, Andy's been at the scene of two separate homicides, which leaves the police wondering what his involvement is with their deaths. No one believes Andy or his mom about the killer doll until it goes after Detective Fright Night and he finally realizes that it might be Charles Lee Ray from the night the toy store exploded for no reason. During the struggle, Chucky gets shot and is surprised to find himself bleeding. Turns out, he's slowly becoming human the more time he spends inside the doll. The only way he can get out is if he transfers his soul into the first person he ever revealed himself to, 6-year-old Andy Barclay. As Chucky looks for the kid, the Vampire Detective does his best to find him first. Coincidentally, the only way to stop Chucky is to destroy his heart... almost like.... a vampire!
Nudity: None.
Gore: Not much, surprisingly. At this point, Child's Play was still very much a psychological horror as opposed to a full blown slasher film. This movie actually has a very low body count and the most violent death is a probably Chucky's.
Awesome: Very! This film launched one of the most famous slashers in the horror genre. Sure, some people might find the idea of a killer doll to be silly but I know plenty of people who are absolutely terrified of dolls. If one started screaming like a maniac and coming at you with a knife, I'm sure even the toughest tough guy would shit his pants. On that note, check out this hilarious prank involving an advertisement for Chucky at a bus stop. All-in-all, the first Child's Play film takes its time building up to the scares and isn't a gory slasher like its successors. Despite inspiring a slew of imitators (Demonic Toys, Dolly Dearest, Toy Story), none can compare to the foul-mouthed King of Killer Toys.
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Child's Play 2 (1990)
Child's Play 2 (USA, 1990) - Color, Director(s): John Lafia
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 15]
Approx. 84 min.
Z-rating: 3.5 stars out of 5
Cheese Factor: 3 stars out of 5
A couple years later, Chucky is back with a new director and new distribution deal. Universal picked up distribution for this franchise and John Lafia, one of the writers for the original, is at the helm. Picking up right where the first one left off, we see a couple of factory workers cleaning off and putting together the charred remains of Chucky. Looks like the guys at Play Pals Toys want to relaunch their Good Guys line following what had to have been a PR nightmare when a 6-year-old child claimed the soul of Voodoo serial killer possessed his doll. They're putting the finishes touches on the doll when Chucky's evil powers causes the machine to explode, tossing one of the factory workers through a window and killing him. What a way to kick off the sequel!
Andy's mother is now undergoing psychiatric evaluation after backing up his story of a killer doll in court and Andy is on his way to a new home his foster parents. There he meets Kyle (Christine Elise), their teenage foster daughter, and the two quickly bond. Chucky, rebuilt good as new, is able to get Andy's new address with a quick call from a carphone and follows him there. Much like the first one, nobody believes Andy about the doll being alive while Chucky stalks him, desperately trying to transfer his soul into Andy's body. A few more of the cast is knocked off before we get to the climax at the doll factory.
I must not have seen this movie in its entirety as a child because the factory is the only part I really remember. Chucky finally gets Andy alone long enough to attempt the soul transference ritual, only it doesn't work. He's spent too much time inside the doll and now he's trapped in it. Kyle shows up to help Andy and they spend the last 20 minutes or so of the movie's runtime trying to get away from Chucky. At one point, Chucky's hand is torn off and he replaces it with the blade of a knife. Doesn't that kinda remind you of anyone?
There is one other thing I wonder about, when Andy clumsily bumps into a red button on the machine it causes an alarm to sound and reverses the production line. The machine then spits out this monstrosity...
My question is, what the HELL was that button for?! I've never worked in a factory that massed produced anything before but are there really buttons that you can push to fuck everything up like this?? What would be the point of such a button? To test how much you could possibly ruin a product?
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| Is it weird that I find this totally hot? |
Nudity: None, unless you count a factory full of naked Chucky dolls!
Gore: With the heightened body count, we see the franchise shifting towards becoming slasher films with more brutal death scenes. Chucky himself suffers one of the most gruesome deaths I've ever seen. Body parts are cut off, he's covered in molten hot plastic that makes him look like an oozing puddle of melted flesh, and he's pumped full of air until his head explodes! (Whatever happened to just destroying his heart?) Even though he's just a doll, hearing him scream and seeing all the blood gush out of his plastic body is a truly horrifying sight when you're a kid.
Awesome: VERY! Like I said, Chucky's death at the end is amongst the most memorable of any movie. They intentionally went for a little more humor this time around and I think they found the missing ingredient to Chucky's personality. The slow motion scenes of a doll being tossed around are always hilarious but watching a pint-sized doll beat a teacher to death with a yardstick just made me chuckle. I think my favorite parts of the first and second film have to be when Andy loses his temper and punches Chucky. In the first film, he's down at the police station trying to prove his doll is real, but when Chucky doesn't respond, he beats up the lifeless doll in frustration. In this sequel, Andy wakes up and realizes that he's been tied up by Chucky who attempts his ritual, only to be interrupted by Kyle who's sneaking back into the house. The moment she unties his right hand, he punches Chucky right in the face and says, "Quick! Kill him!" The dark humor really compliments Chucky's foul-mouth and both become staples in this franchise.
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Child's Play 3 (1991)
Child's Play 3 (UK/USA, 1991) - Color, Director(s): Jack Bender
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 90 min.
Z-rating: 2.5 stars out of 5
Cheese Factor: 4 stars out of 5
The movie starts with the machines in the old factory getting cleaned off as a claw descends and pierces Chucky's headless body, still glued to the ground from the end of the second movie. Blood gushes out of the wounds and drips into the vat of plastic they're using to create the new line of dolls. The vat of plastic starts to bubble, the blood and molten plastic slowly reforming Chucky's head as he awakens, screaming into the camera. This movie's opening has one of the best regeneration sequences of any movie. We've seen movies with regeneration sequences before, typically a vampire movie or some immortal killer like Jason Voorhees will be decomposing after having died in the last film. Something will "awaken" them, their shriveled heart starts to beat again, their flesh fills out to cover their bones, maybe a finger will twitch, and it usually ends with their eyes suddenly opening. The true mark of unconquerable evil, the ability to regenerate after death. 8 years after the events of the second film, Play Pals Toys is looking to bring back their Good Guys line once again. Mr. Sullivan (played by Peter Haskell), some bigwig at Play Pals Toys, watched someone on the assembly line die right in front of his eyes at the beginning of the second film. Yet here here is, at a meeting and pushing for the relaunch of the Good Guys line. Well, I guess business is business.
Mr. Sullivan gets the first toy off the line, none other than Chucky himself, and gets offed in his office while working late. In classic form, Chucky strangles him to death with a yo-yo! Hopping on the computer in Sullivan's office, he does a quick search to find that Andy Barclay is now at Kent Military School. This setting provides plenty of deadly weapons for Chucky to play with, like a kid in a toy store (for the lack of a better analogy). The principal players this time around are a hard ass Lt. Col. named Shelton, a tough as nails female Private named De Silva, a kid named Tyler, a wimpy sidekick named Whitehurst, and of course Andy Barclay. Chucky mails himself to Barclay but the package is opened by Tyler. Realizing that he's in a new body, Chucky figures out a loophole that if Tyler is the first person he reveals himself to, he can transfer his soul into the younger child instead. Barclay tries to stop this from happening but Lt. Col. Shelton is there to make his life a living hell and thwarts his attempts. After a few mysterious deaths that no one seems to question, they proceed with their annual war games using paint-filled ammunition for their rifles. Chucky switches out the red team's rounds for live ammo. Although Chucky does kill a couple people himself, he's perfectly content orchestrating chaos and mayhem.
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| "Seven-six-two millimeter. Full metal jacket." |
With so many people around constantly, it's hard to pull of the same stalk 'n' slash formula but newcomer Jack Bender tries his best to make it all work. There's not much tension to build since there are so many people around constantly, so the director goes for drama between Shelton and the others. De Silva is there as a budding love interest that never fully blooms into a real relationship. Whitehurst is the friend who first shows interest in why Barclay's always getting in trouble over a doll but doesn't believe him about Chucky being alive. Even after Whitehurst sees Chucky walking and talking after a murder, he doesn't back up Barclay's story or warn anyone of the possible danger. Honestly, the whole movie is filled with plot holes because Chucky could've successfully transferred his soul into any child if he didn't send himself to Andy Barclay's military school in the first place.
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| "Holy dog shit, Texas?! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Pvt. Cowboy!" |
After finally realizing that Chucky is bad news (because a talking doll that wants to play "Hide the Soul" doesn't automatically send up any red flags) Tyler runs off to a nearby carnival to escape. Chucky catches up and forces Tyler into one of those haunted house rides called "Devil's Lair" with Barclay and De Silva in pursuit. I actually really like the haunted house ride as a backdrop because it provides some much needed "creepy" visuals. The problem is that it's all fake, even in the context of the movie, which really takes away most of the impact. Chucky meets his end when he's thrown into a giant fan that chops him up into tiny little pieces.
Nudity: None.
Gore: Not much, there is one person who gets his throat slit open with a straight razor. Much like the second movie, the most memorable part of the entire film is at the climax in the haunted house. In a particularly gruesome scene, a giant grim reaper that swings his scythe down at the patrons for effects slices off half of Chucky's face. You can see half of his face flop off the scythe, it's pretty brutal. As usual, Chucky's dies the most horribly gruesome deaths of the entire movie.
Awesome: Not very. This movie is alright but is easily the weakest of the Child's Play trilogy, in my opinion. The first is probably the most well-rounded film and Chucky's death in the second one was just brutal. Andrew Robinson (Hellraiser) plays Sgt. Botnick, a barber who gets some sort of sadistic thrill out from cutting hair. He even walks through the mess hall and grabs people by the hair, demanding they pay him a visit. I also noticed Tyler playing what looks to be an Atari Lynx the first time we see him, which is in Sgt. Botnick's barber chair.
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Bride of Chucky (1998)
Bride of Chucky (Canada/USA, 1998) - Color, Director(s): Ronny Yu
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 89 min.
Z-rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Cheese Factor: 4 out of 5 stars
Alright, I know I'm cheating a little bit here because I've reviewed this movie before, but I thought the review needed an update much like this franchise did at this point. This is easily my favorite entry in the franchise. Chucky gets a freaky new look, a beautiful new bride, and this movie is just a ton of FUN! Ronny Yu, who goes on todirect Freddy vs. Jason which is another favorite of mine, shows that he's got the talent and the right sense of humor to update these beloved horror franchises. Right from the start, we get some production credits in a font that looks like it came straight off the cover of a horror magazine. Not a big deal but that small touch sets the tone for rest of the film. We're immediately treated to references to other famous horror franchises such as Friday the 13th, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, and Nightmare on Elm Street. Every time I bring up this movie, someone always mentions these references as though anyone could possibly have missed them. The only way it could've been less subtle is if there was a picture of the killer next to each item in the evidence locker with the title of their respective franchises labeled for the audience. Still, a fun nod to all the other slashers and shows this movie doesn't take itself too seriously.
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| "Is that the guy from Zombies Ate My Neighbors? Or is that Rick Taylor from Splatterhouse? |
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| Hey look! Driller Killer is there too! |
Less than 4 minutes into the movie and we get our first kill, I love when they jump straight into the action! Rob Zombie's "Living Dead Girl" blasts over the actors' credits, and title sequence, as we see Tiffany (played by the lovely Jennifer Tilly) sews the pieces of Chucky back together Frankenstein-style in the background. What is it about heavy metal and horror movies that goes so well together? (Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of Heavy Metal Movies if you really want to find out, Mike "McBeardo" McPadden knows what he's talking about!)
The movie focuses on two different couples, Jade (Katherine Heigl) and Jesse (Nick Stabile) are two young lovebirds longing to be together despite the objections of Jade's Uncle (John Ritter). Tiffany conducts a ritual to bring Chucky back to life with the belief that he wanted to get married before he was shot. After being revived, Chucky reveals that he had no intention of marrying her, which sparks a lover's quarrel that eventually leads to Chucky killing Tiffany in the tub and transferring her soul into a bridal doll. The dysfunctional couple needs The Heart of Damballa, a magic amulet that Charles Lee Ray was apparently wearing the night he was gunned down by the police, in order to transfer their souls into human bodies. Funny, I don't remember him wearing it in the first movie, and why didn't he ever need this amulet before? Whatever the case, they have to get to his grave and exhume his corpse along with this MacGuffin amulet, so they hire Jesse to drive both dolls to New Jersey. Jesse sees this as an opportunity to elope with Jade and now both couples are on a road trip together. But when people start turning up dead, Jade and Jesse begin to suspect one another for a serial killer.
Nudity: This franchise has never really been known for its nudity but Chucky and Tiffany do get it on as dolls after a particularly disturbing proposal. What follows has to be the funniest doll sex scene until the one in Team America: World Police a few years later.
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| That's Tiffany's doll ass, you perv! |
Gore: This franchise now has both feet planted firmly in the slasher genre. From the cop getting his throat slit with a nail file to the couple torn to shreds by a shower of glass in their waterbed, the kills are bigger and bloodier than they've ever been in this series. In a final nod to another horror franchise, Chucky makes a comment that the sight of John Ritter's face impaled by a dozen nails "looks familiar." This is a reference to Pinhead from the Hellraiser movies and is more subtle than the ones from the beginning of the film.
Awesome: Very! The movie is very self-aware and even pokes fun at the franchise itself. When Chucky first pulls out a knife, Tiffany comments that stabbings went out with Bundy and Dahmer and implies that he needs to keep up with current trends. The acting is terrific (probably because there aren't any kids in it this time) and the dialogue is smart and funny. The animatronics for Chucky and Tiffany look better than anything we've seen from this franchise before. The shovel fight in the graveyard must be seen to be believed, no words can describe how ridiculously awesome it is. Finally, the ending sets up the sequel with the demon spawn of Chucky bursting out from under Tiffany's dress. All-in-all, this movie is loads of fun and effectively updates the franchise and its characters. Definitely recommended for fans of the previous films, but also for anyone who's looking for a few good laughs.
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Seed of Chucky (2004)
Seed of Chucky (Romania/USA/UK, 2004) - Color, Director(s): Don Mancini
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 15]
Approx. 87 min.
Z-rating: 2.5 stars out of 5
Cheese Factor: 4.5 stars out of 5
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| The Shining reference. Nice! |
Hell yeah! After Bride of Chucky, I am TOTALLY ready for another sequel! Ronny Yu really took Chucky to the next level and I'm psyched to... wait what? Ronny Yu didn't come back for this sequel? Oh, well, that's alright cause I see that Don Mancini is directing. He's the guy who came up with the story for the original Child's Play and he's written every movie in the franchise since! There's no way this could possibly go wrong, I mean, he's the originator of the concept! That'd be like George A. Romero making a zombie movie and it turning out bad. Oh, wait.
At the end of the last movie, a needle-toothed demon baby pops out from under Tiffany's dress, screeching like a pig-beast come straight from hell, and attacks the detective. I'm sure we were all expecting the devil spawn of Chucky's seed to be some monstrosity that indiscriminately kills living creatures to quench its insatiable bloodlust. Instead we have Glen or Glenda (like the Ed Wood film!), a sexually ambiguous puppet who regularly pisses his/her pants and looks like a starving pantomime.
They're filming a movie about Chucky and Tiffany in Hollywood and Glen sees an interview on TV. He mails himself to Hollywood and, using the MacGuffin amulet from the last movie, brings the Chucky and Tiffany puppets to life. So apparently with this super powerful MacGuffin necklace, you don't even need the actual dolls that housed the souls of Charles Lee Ray and Tiffany. Even reproductions will suffice. Also, Jennifer Tilly is in this movie. Alright, let me try to get all of this straight. Charles Lee Ray dies and transfers his soul into a doll that kills Tiffany and transfers her soul into another doll. Both dolls are killed but gives birth to Glen/Glenda. With the Heart of Damballa, Glen/Glenda is able to recall the souls of Charles Lee Ray and Tiffany into puppets that Hollywood has recreated for a movie where Jennifer Tilly, who looks and sounds EXACTLY like Tiffany, is doing the voice for Tiffany in the movie they're filming. Also, Tiffany wants to transfer her soul into Jennifer Tilly and.... you know what? Just forget the plot to this movie. Your head will explode if you try too hard to make sense of it.
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| Ooo! Boobies! |
Nudity: For the first time in this series, we actually get a bit of nudity! Glen is having a dream at the beginning of the movie where he's stalking a family through the house and is about to kill the wife in the shower. We catch a brief glimpse of her breasts as she freaks out and slips in the tub, cracking her head open on the floor. She's covered by the shower curtain but you still see one of her breasts while she's laying on the floor. That's not all though, there is a moment where Tiffany (the doll, not Jennifer Tilly) flashes Chucky her doll tits. The scene happens suddenly then Chucky proceeds to masturbate to an issue of Fangoria magazine.
Gore: This is easily the goriest entry into the series so far but a lot of it is over-the-top. Heads are decapitated, rappers are eviscerated, and a slimy paparazzi (who look suspiciously like John Waters) has sulfuric acid dumped on his face.
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| "I'm telling you, that looks like John Waters in those bushes taking photos of masturbating midgets!" |
Awesome: Once you get over the fact that Chucky's kid isn't some super killer (and turn off your brain completely) this movie is actually pretty fun. I still think Bride of Chucky was more fun because it was better at balancing a clever script with self-referential humor. This movie just goes for broke with completely over-the-top humor, it doesn't even pretend to be a horror movie at any point. Britney Spears is run off the road, Chucky and Tiffany actually try to stop killing people, Tiffany artificially inseminates Jennifer Tilly with a turkey baster filled with Chucky's doll jizz. The Child's Play franchise is often considered more comical than seriously scary but this one tried too hard to be self-aware. Despite missing the mark, this one still manages to be more fun than Child's Play 3. Don Mancini follows this up with Curse of Chucky nearly 10 years later, which I won't be reviewing again this year.
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Friday the 13th (1980)
Friday the 13th (USA, 1980) - Color, Director(s): Sean S. Cunningham
MPAA Rating: X
[UK: 18]
Approx. 95 min.
Z-rating: 3 stars out of 5
Cheese Factor: 3 stars out of 5
Nowadays, Jason Voorhees is considered a horror icon. With tons of merchandise ranging from action figures to memorabilia, books that have immortalized his influence on American pop culture, and having inspired countless Halloween costumes and props, Jason is one of the most famous of all horror movie villains. TV shows like Family Guy, The Simpsons, Robot Chicken, and even South Park have all paid homage to him. Video games like Zombies Ate My Neighbors, Splatterhouse, and many more have featured characters inspired by the hockey mask-wearing, machete-wielding killer. In fact, whenever a generic maniac is depicted, they're often shown wearing hockey masks. Jason Voorhees and his iconic hockey mask have become synonymous with slasher movies.
Although, anyone who's seen Scream will tell you that Jason Voorhees isn't even the killer in the first movie. In fact, Jason doesn't start wearing his iconic hockey mask until the 3rd film. So how did this franchise come to feature one of the most infamous slashers in horror movie history?
The foundation for the slasher sub-genre had been laid down in the 60's by movies like Peeping Tom and Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. Although it wasn't until John Carpenter's Halloween, which is often considered to be grandfather of all American slasher films, that a formula arose that countless films would try to emulate. The idea of an unstoppable killer stalking and killing teenagers leaving the only survivor in a Final Girl, often the pure and innocent virgin who is able to escape the killer, was popularized by Carpenter's film. What Halloween shares with movies that came before it is the fact that it contains very little gore. That's where Friday the 13th came in.
They brought in Tom Savini, who had previously worked on George A Romero's Dawn of the Dead, to do the special effects. Knowing they weren't breaking new ground with this film, they instead went for excess and showed the graphic violence that many of these movies had not shown before. The kills were bloodier and more violent, there was more nudity to appeal to teenagers, and the movie managed to shock audiences despite following a similar formula that had been set by movies that came before it.
The movie is about a summer camp that was closed in 1958 after two counselors were brutally murdered. The year before that, a young boy drowned in the lake when the counselors that were supposed to be watching him were busy porking instead. A new group of counselors, including a young Kevin Bacon, are attempting to reopen Camp Crystal Lake despite multiple warnings from the townsfolk that there's a "death curse" on the camp. As they prepare for the reopening, the counselors are picked off one after another by a mysterious killer that we don't get to see. The boy that drowned in the lake turns out to be Jason, who comes back in the sequels. The killer is revealed at the end and, if you haven't seen it yet, has a very good motive for hating these camp counselors.
Nudity: A bit. By today's standards, it might be considered tame but we do get a bit of nudity.
Gore: As I mentioned before, this movie has more gore than Halloween and some other American slashers at the time. The special effects by Tom Savini still look amazing but might not have the same effect on a seasoned veteran of the genre. The most famous death scene is Kevin Bacon's arrow through the neck.
Awesome: While this movie might not have been the first of its kind, it pushed the envelope and laid the groundwork for one of the most infamous slashers in horror movie history. The camp setting has also became a popular setting for these kinds of movies. This film by itself doesn't really standout from others if you're watching it nowadays. There have been plenty of imitators and every other holiday has been turned into a slasher film. The franchise as a whole is worth watching and this is a must see in a Friday the 13th marathon, but casual viewers might not be impressed this one.
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Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
Friday the 13th Part 2 (USA, 1981) - Color, Director(s): Steve Miner
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 15]
Approx. 87 min.
Z-rating: 3 stars out of 5
Cheese Factor: 2 stars out of 5
With Sean Cunningham not returning to the director's chair and Tom Savini working on other projects like The Burning and The Prowler, Associate Producer Steve Miner steps up to direct the sequel the following year. The movie starts with Alice, the lone survivor from the last film, recovering from the incident. In a flashback to the ending of the first film, we see her finding her friends murdered, decapitating Pamela Voorhees (Jason's mother) with machete, and Jason jumping out of the lake and grabbing her at the end. We also see her telling the police about the boy (Jason) and the police telling her that they didn't find anything in lake. When she opens the fridge and finds the decapitated head of Pamela Voorhees, an unknown killer grabs her from behind and puts an ice pick in her temple. At least the killer is courteous enough to take the kettle off the stove afterward.
Now, 5 years later, a counselor training center is opening up at Crystal Lake near the camp. This time Jason's the killer and he's not the same little boy who popped up out of the lake anymore. Jason's full-grown now and looks an awful lot like The Phantom Killer from The Town That Dreaded Sundown with the burlap sack over his head and everything. I like to think Jason was going through a transitional phase in this movie where he was finding himself. In the midst of an identity crisis, Jason must've taken inspiration from Mario Bava's A Bay of Blood (a.k.a. Twitch of the Death Nerve) because he lifts a couple kills directly from that movie. Bava's Bay of Blood is noted for heavily influencing the slasher genre with its rising body count, gory death scenes, and young lovers being stalked by a killer.
Ginny (played by Amy Steel) finds the shack that Jason's squatting in with an alter to Jason's mother. In a moment of pure genius, she dons Pamela Voorhees' dirty old sweater and pretends to be his mother. He actually falls for it momentarily until he spots his mother's severed head. I love that she actually able to fool Jason, if even for a moment. The same way that Pamela Voorhees was the perfect mother for doing anything to protect her son, we see that Jason is a total mama's boy who would do anything for his mother's approval. Another thing I liked was that Jason actually attempts a sneak attack when they're back at the cabin, something we see less of once Jason becomes a hulking brute that just stalks his victims. Ginny's hiding under the bed and Jason stands up on a chair with a pitchfork, waiting for her to come out. When she does, he dives at her but the chair breaks underneath his weight and the pitchfork snaps in half when he plunges it into the ground. Absolutely hilarious!
Nudity: There's more nudity this time around. We actually see one of the counselors go skinny dipping and there's a sexy scene where another counselor changes her underwear in preparation for sex. Nothing is explicitly shown but it's still a very sexy scene.
Gore: There isn't a ton of blood in this movie but the death scenes are pretty brutal. Jason doesn't play around, in fact, he's pretty hardcore. Even the guy in the wheelchair gets a machete to the face! Not only that, his wheelchair rolls down the stairs backwards with this lifeless body bouncing around in it. Even the handicapped aren't safe. As I mentioned before, this movie is heavily inspired by Mario Bava's A Bay of Blood. The machete to the face, spear through two people in bed, and even killing people in wheelchairs are all elements inspired by that film.
Awesome: I like that this is the first time we get to see Jason killing people and I can definitely appreciate the connections it has with other significant slasher films but Jason's character hasn't been fully developed yet. Yes, it's true he still hasn't donned his iconic hockey mask yet but more importantly, he seems like a mishmash of characters from other movies. Jason still lacks his own identity, something that makes him unique amongst other slashers. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but we're here to see Jason evolve into an infamous killer in his own right. This is still a great film but stay tuned to see Jason grow into his own skin, or should I say mask?
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Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)
Friday the 13th Part 3 (USA, 1982) - Color, Director(s): Steve Miner
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 15]
Approx. 95 min.
Z-rating: 3 stars out of 5
Cheese Factor: 2 stars out of 5
We're finally here! Jason's character is really starting to come together. He dons his iconic hockey mask for the first time and wields his signature machete by the end of the film, he's got his trademark sound (ki ki ki, ma ma ma), and he's very hard to kill as seen when he's pushed from the second story of a barn and hung by the neck with no effect.
This is probably the most important film of the franchise, at least in terms of Jason's character development, but the first half of the movie is spent setting up the dullest bunch of bozos you just can't wait to see get hacked to pieces. A group of seven teens are headed up to a cottage at Crystal Lake that includes a pregnant girl, her boyfriend, an annoying idiot who plays dumb pranks, his blind date, a stoner couple, and a girl named Chris who survived a previous encounter with Jason. Most of these people just serve as fodder for Jason to slash his way through, the most developed characters are Chris and Shelly, the idiot who fancies himself an actor. Shelly is supposed to be the sympathetic character that we all feel bad for because of his low confidence but the guy is a total jagoff. He carries around a box of props like he's Carrot Top or something, which he uses to scare the hell out of people for attention.
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| Puff, puff, pass. |
While in town picking up some groceries, Shelly and his date (Vera) piss off three biker thugs that follow them back up to the cottage and try to burn down the barn. Jason finally shows up and offs a couple of the bikers, then turns his attention towards the main cast. Shelly is the one Jason gets his mask from, which happens off-screen, but Vera is the first one to be killed by Jason while wearing his new mask.
Jason sure has a flair for the dramatic, posing dead bodies in ways that will scare people later on. Though he's not above just tossing the lifeless body of Chris' boyfriend through a window at her, sometimes he's not too subtle. You've got to hand it to him though, he's a master at improvising. In the early 80's there was a revival of 3D in Hollywood that some horror films took part in, many of which were the 3rd installments of their franchise. Jaws 3-D, Amityville 3-D, and this movie were just some to cash in the craze. I love the way the movie's opening credits are in 3D and set to a groovy disco theme. Sure, the 3D effects were pretty hokey (snakes, yo-yos, and harpoons popping out at you) but it makes this movie all the more fun to watch. If it wasn't for the slow first half dragging this film down, this would definitely rank higher as one of the best in the franchise.
Nudity: There is a frustrating lack of T&A in this flick. We get a shower scene half way through the movie, once Jason shows up. The nudity would've been more welcome during the boring first half of the film when there wasn't any killing.
Gore: From what I understand, a lot of the death scenes were edited to avoid an X rating. Despite some of the gorier bits getting cut, this movie still has one of the most brutal kills I've ever seen. Jason splits a guy right down the middle with a machete while he's doing a hand stand. This scene is so cringeworthy that any guy would have a hard time watching it. Jason also shows how physically strong he is when he crushes a guy's head and sends an eyeball flying towards the screen.
Awesome: There's no denying the significance of this film, it's the first time Jason wears the hockey mask and the first one to be in 3D, but it's bogged down heavily by the annoying characters and slow first half. There's some cool stuff though like the girl who reads an issue of Fangoria right before she's killed. We see her flip past an article on Tom Savini and one about Godzilla. As a standalone film, it had the potential to be awesome but it was a decent lead into the fourth film. Director Steve Miner doesn't come back for the next sequel but goes on to direct some other fun stuff like House, Halloween H20, and Lake Placid. Some of his more recent work includes the absolutely dreadful Day of the Dead remake.
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Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter (USA, 1984) - Color, Director(s): Joseph Zito
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 91 min.
Z-rating: 4 stars out of 5
Cheese Factor: 2 stars out of 5
Part IV seems to be the one that people liked the most. There's more nudity, the film keeps an steadier pace, and the death scenes are more brutal than ever. Joseph Zito, who also directed The Prowler, is at the helm of what was supposed to be the last film of this series. "The Sultan of Splatter" Tom Savini is also back doing the special effects. After a flashback to all three movies, we see the paramedics taking Jason's body to the morgue. When he comes to at the hospital, he kills two of the people working there and heads back to Crystal Lake. At the same time, a group of teens are also headed there for the weekend. Crystal Lake must quite the vacation spot because all these murders don't seem to deter any visitors.
Corey Feldman plays young Tommy Jarvis, a monster movie obsessed kid who creates his own masks and props. He lives with his mother and older sister across from the house that the teens are renting. The group picks up a pair of twins and they all end up back to the house for a party. Crispin Glover plays a scrawny, annoying little nerd that hooks up with one of the twins. In one of the funniest scenes of the entire franchise, he dances like he's having a seizure while fighting invisible ninjas at a rock concert. During filming, Glover was supposedly dancing to a different song but it's the most ridiculous thing you'll ever see, regardless of the song that was originally playing.
Corey Feldman and his sister are having car trouble when a random backpacker comes out of the woods to helps them out. The guy says he's out hunting bears but he's really looking for his sister and tracking Jason. After Jason slashes his way through the teens, he goes after the Jarvis family. In the end, it's little Tommy Jarvis that's able to stop him but I've never really understood why. Tommy finds a bunch of newspaper clippings in the backpacker's bag and see a picture of Jason Voorhees when he was a kid. While Jason's chasing his sister around, Tommy shaves his head and puts on a little make-up to look like Jason when he was a kid. Then Tommy asks if Jason remembers him? In Part II, it made more sense that Jason would be confused because Ginny pretends to be Jason's mother. Tommy shaving his head to look like a young Jason shouldn't have confused him for so long. Regardless, it worked long enough for Tommy to get ahold of the machete bury it deep into Jason's face. When he notices Jason's fingers twitching, Tommy repeatedly hacks away at Jason's body with the machete. The movie ends on a bit of a cliffhanger with Tommy Jarvis looking into the camera as ominous music plays. This was supposed to be the final film but audiences were left wondering what happened to young Tommy Jarvis.
Nudity: There was a lot more nudity this time around. The teens go skinny dipping at the lake and they're all hooking up back at the house. The girls are hotter and there are even TWINS!
Gore: Tom Savini is back. Is there any doubt about the quality or even quantity of gore? The special effects are top notch and the kills are absolutely brutal. Jason saws through a guy's throat with a hacksaw and twists his head completely around. Also, Jason is a dick to fat chicks. This heavy hitchhiker was just sitting there minding her own business, not engaging in premarital sex or doing drugs, just eating a banana when Jason shows up and kills her for no reason.
Awesome: Very. The story was evenly paced unlike Part III where the the first half was really boring and everything happens in the second half. The acting is bad and Crispin Glover's character is annoying as hell but they quickly set up the characters and move on to killing them. This movie had the right amount of nudity and, with Tom Savini back, the kills were awesome. I can see why this is a favorite among fans of the franchise. Jason seemed more "alive" in the last one, he's more decayed and zombie-like in this one. Also, he's more deliberate and slow stalks his victims in this one. At least he is until the end. In previous films, he seemed a lot more clumsy and oafish. If the series really ended here, it would've gone out on a high note. This is definitely the one we've been screaming for!
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Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)
Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (USA, 1985) - Color, Director(s): Danny Steinmann
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 18]
Approx. 92 min.
Z-rating: 1 stars out of 5
Cheese Factor: 4 stars out of 5
Following the success of the fourth installment, of course they'd try to squeeze out more sequels. What better way to follow up the best movie in the franchise than with the worst one? Often cited as people's least favorite movie, it is easily the weakest film of the franchise. The death scenes are totally weak, it has the most obnoxious characters in the world, and it's not even the real Jason killing people.
Everyone was left wondering what became of little Tommy Jarvis after hacking away at Jason with the machete screaming, "Die! Die! Die!" and then staring ominously into the camera at the end. A young Tommy Jarvis (played by Corey Feldman) is visiting the grave of Jason Voorhees as two guys approach and dig up Jason's corpse. Suddenly, Jason awakens and kills both of them and turns his attention to young Tommy Jarvis. Turns out it's only a nightmare that the now older Tommy Jarvis is having. He's on his way to some kind of halfway house, seems like Tommy never fully recovered from his encounter with Jason.
At the house, the other troubled teens are all doing chores when this fat kid offers everyone a chocolate bar. The psycho chopping wood flips out for no reason and hacks the fat kid into pieces with an axe. Shortly after, the counterfeit Jason starts killing off a bunch of inconsequential characters that weren't even introduced before they were killed. I understand that Jason sometimes kills random characters too but it's usually on his way back to Camp Crystal Lake. This bogus Jason spends way too much time killing trivial characters before finally getting around to the main cast. The phony Jason is chasing a kid and a woman who works at the halfway house named Pam, after killing off the teens in the house, when he finally comes face-to-face with Tommy Jarvis. Tommy has been missing this entire time and when he shows up, you're expecting some epic battle against the man that ruined his life. The only thing he does is stand there, freaking out, as "Jason" slashes him across the chest with a machete. Then he stabs imitation Jason in the groin with a switchblade before passing out in the hay. After a brief struggle, the pretend Jason is killed and his whole sham is revealed.
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| At least Pam was a total bad ass |
Nudity: Thank goodness for the nudity because the death scenes are totally lame. The Friday the 13th franchise is known for delivering nudity and violent death scenes. Almost feels like they knew the kills were lousy, so they over-delivered on the boobies. Nudity alone doesn't save this film though.
Gore: The deaths in this movie were so weak, it's almost a shame to have them weighing down the series. Aside from the scene where we see the fat kid AFTER he's been chopped up by the psycho with the axe, the rest of the kills are really tame. In the scene where the slutty waitress is killed, the camera barely finishes panning over her dead body before they fade into a different scene.
Awesome: Not awesome at all. At the time, this installment had the poorest performance of all the sequels. I read that this film has gained a cult following and is considered a "psychological horror" probably due to the twist that someone is pretending to be Jason. I think that's just a garbage excuse covering for a bad movie. There's no big mystery as to who was killing everyone because we see that it's a guy in a hockey mask, nobody is trying to figure out who's really under the mask because we're led to believe it's really Jason until the end. The entire movie plays out like an average (or below average) Friday the 13th flick until the very end when it turns out that someone dressed up as Jason. That's not a twist, it's a cheap ending. Also, the snot-nosed hick that lives with his mother is the most annoying character ever. This movie sucks.
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