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Hatchet III (2013)

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Hatchet III (USA, 2013) - Color, Director(s): BJ McDonnell
MPAA Rating: R
Approx. 77 min.

Z-rating: 4 stars out of 5

Cheese Factor: 3 stars out of 5

"I don't believe in ghosts... just Gremlins"

Let me start off by saying that I absolutely LOVED the first Hatchet film. I would say it's got to be one of my favorite slashers ever. I think it really caught me by surprise because I wasn't expecting the special effects to be so good. The first time Victor Crowley appears and tears some guy's head off totally blew my mind! I was really excited for the sequel (pre-ordered it and everything!) but was surprised to find that I didn't like it as much as the first. I'm a big fan of Danielle Harris but it just takes me awhile to get used to seeing her suddenly playing Marybeth when I watch both parts back-to-back. Also the difference in the way they handled the death scenes, for some reason, reminded me of Japanese splatter films. The generic ass stock sound effects they added makes the kills come off super cheesy.


Third time is definitely the charm with this series because this movie totally rocks! They finally found that right mix of comedy without coming off too campy and even improved the make-up. Victor Crowley looks so much more bad ass this time around. In the second one, he looked kind of like a Garbage Pail Kid. This movie picks up right where the second one leaves off. Marybeth is in the middle of opening a fresh can of whoop ass on Victor Crowley and then... walks into a police station holding a gun, completely drenched in blood, and mumbling about people being dead. Amazingly, they don't just shoot her in face the moment she walks through the door and arrests her instead. The police go back to check out her story, only to find Louisiana State SWAT has also been dispatched. Armed with assault rifles and shotguns, both teams prepare for a final showdown with Victor Crowley... 

This guy is my hero!

Nudity: We get a brief shot of Danielle Harris standing in a shower as officers spray her down with a hose, but that's about all we get.

"Take it in the face, you dirty girl!"

Gore: BUCKETS worth! The Hatchet series was aiming to bring back the American slasher genre. Although I still don't think this can top the first movie, the kills definitely feel like a step up from the second film. Of course, no one can be more bad ass than Kane Hodder in the role of Victor Crowley.


Awesome: to the MAX!!! I knew I had to see this movie after I heard that cop saying, "These are somebody's balls... balls are NOT supposed to be hanging from trees!" in the trailer. This movie does not disappoint. If you've seen Gremlins you'll recognize the sheriff. Also, the running gag with actor Parry Shen is pure gold. A character from the first movie even makes a brief, but hilarious, cameo. I love it when movies can tie the stories from previous films in with the current plot (which is why I liked Insidious 2 so much) and this franchise ties up a few loose ends in this movie pretty nicely. Perfect way to complete a trilogy and great slasher that's fun to play at a Halloween party.


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