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Orphan (2009)

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Orphan (USA, 2009) - Color, Director(s): Jaume Collet-Serra
MPAA Rating: R
[UK: 15]
Approx. 123 min.

Z-rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars for a surprisingly bone chilling movie

Cheese Factor: 1 out of 5 stars for trying to make me scared of a little girl... and succeeding.

This girl will DESTROY you...

I have to admit, I hesitated to buy this even though it was on sale at Walmart for only $4. I didn't want to waste my money if the movie turned out to be a dud. Well, let me tell you, this is probably the scariest movie I've seen about a scary little girl since Hard Candy. For some reason, the idea of a highly intelligent, manipulative, and murderous little girl is deeply disturbing to me. When you watch as many of these horror movies as I do, you just get a bit desensitized to them after awhile and they're not terrifyingly scary anymore. You still get a thrill from watching it but you're just less likely to jump at every scare attempt. This movie was just the right formula I guess, because this little girl gave me that chill down my spine and made me feel like I might lose control of my bladder.

You just fucked up...

Isabelle Fuhrman perfectly plays the role of Esther, a mysterious and honestly quite scary little girl with a dark secret. On the outside, she's very sweet and proper but will become murderously violent if you get on her bad side. The way the story builds, you can see that she is highly manipulative and is constantly plotting. She's got a wide array of skills at her disposal such as understanding sign language, having a way of earning trust and sympathy from people, and thinking quickly on her feet. She starts developing an Electra complex, which we later find out she seemingly has a history of, and so begins her rivalry with "Mommy". Esther begins to ruin mother's credibility and soon sets her up to look like an alcoholic with a problem. The ending is fantastic as we find out the truth of Esther's past. I thought she was scary from the beginning but towards the very end, that's the kind of stuff nightmares are made of...


Nudity: None. Perv. There is one scene where the boys are hanging out in the treehouse when one of them busts out a porno mag and they're shown flipping through it.


Gore: Not overly gory but still packs a surprising punch. Very effective use of violence and blood where necessary.


Awesome: VERY. I laugh now when I think back to how I hesitated to buy this at first, thinking it might not be scary. The story is great, Isabelle does an incredible job of playing Esther to the point where it's just terrifying, and I found it to be very scary and original. The coolest thing was Esther's art, with glow-in-the-dark paint. Coolest thing I've ever seen! This is also another Dark Castle film!!! These guys seem pretty popular with me this year.


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